Five years ago on Thanksgiving, I actually wrote an “Ungrateful List.” What can I say? It was sincere. I had just had my third miscarriage, I was a raging bag of hormones with huge financial problems, and it was all putting severe strain on my marriage. Life was not going like I had hoped.
Little did I know, things were going to get worse before they got better. It is a good thing I did not know, I would not have had the courage to walk through that intense emotional pain. But what other choice is there? The only way through it is through it.
Why am I posting this very personal information? Several reasons. I have always been a soul exhibitionist. And because things are better. Way better. Far from perfect, but this year I am feeling true gratitude. I have written many gratitude lists that were forced, and I truly believe in the exercise of contrary action, but it is pretty awesome when gratitude is just flowing out naturally.
I am acutely aware that other people are struggling, but if you believe what you see on Facebook, it would seem that everyone is sprinkling glitter and tooting rainbows. My only bit of advice for those who are struggling is to look for moments of joy throughout your day. You may be behind on your bills, but it does not cost anything to experience joy. Don’t wait for things to get better to enjoy your life. Look for moments of joy. And take them.
So I have written a book. Actually, I am well into my second book. The first one is about to be self-published on Amazon and it is called “Subway Girl.” It is fiction, but I could not have written this book (or my second project) five years ago. It turns out some of my personal angst led me to writing. I have always loved to write, but without the pats on the back and creative outlet I was getting from teaching, I really need a new outlet.
The person I was five years ago could not have written these books. I like who I am today, I love my life, and I love writing erotic fiction. Please don’t read it as a favor to me. Unless you happen to read this genre, you might find it rather shocking. That is okay, I didn’t write it for you. I wrote it for me, and if you like it…well, then I added some joy to your life too!
(I am editing the final copy of “Subway Girl” now. It will be published in December, available on Amazon.)